Both of my parents were each married twice.
I have long been fascinated by blended families.
I remember thinking, it was really nice in the tabloids when it was reported that actors Demi Moore and her ex-husband Bruce Willis would vacation with their children and their new partners, all of them together!
Think about that.
If you’re a man, you’re friends with your ex-wife and you’re married to the new wife.
If you’re a woman, you’re friendly with your ex-boyfriend and your new love is not threatened.
That’s very rare.
Perhaps I’m biased.
My clients in therapy and Life Coach see me when it’s a dumpster fire, they’re in crisis the sh!t is hitting the fan. Perhaps my viewpoint is skewed by my work.
I just know that for decades, since I was a kid, I’ve admired blended families who got it right, even if it was only that one celebrity couple in the tabloids. In my personal life, I know of ex’s who’re cordial but I know of none that co-parent while remaining friends. Perhaps its wishful thinking on my part, that it’s a beautiful sentiment to wish your ex well and to co-parent peacefully because that’s in the best interest of the children.
For most, they cannot overcome bitterness and jealousy.
Your b!tch ex-wife
Your no good ex-husband
The good will is gone. The memories have soured. You do NOT wish your ex well.
I understand. I have the Stories podcast episode on predatory women. For my naive clients, I probably sound paranoid because I recommend documentating like your life depends on it and even recording depending on the consent laws in your state. I advocate for getting the most competent attorney that money can buy, I tell my clients to not fuck around. Yes, I’m very paranoid but you would be too, if you knew the things that I do.
False accusations of sexual assault
False accusations of sexual abuse of children
Battery of a male partner by the female perpetrator
Children taken away in custody battles
Assets wiped out
You bet your bottom dollar, I’m very suspicious and paranoid. I also do my best to protect my clients best interests, often it’s their first divorce et cetera. Often, divorce, affairs, break-ups bring out the worst in people.
Your ex is being mean, that’s understandable. It’s a divorce, affair or break-up for goodness sake.
But destroy your life, take your children away, ruin your life, bankrupt you, ruin your reputation, leave you shattered . . . no, I am not up for that, not for my clients. That’s not what I want for you.
In spite of what I know and what I see, I remain hopeful and wishful. That ex-partners would get along for the sake of the children. You also used to like or love that person who was your former wife or former husband.
Very beautiful, the blended families that get it right. They remain friends with the ex, they include the new partner. That’s done with very deliberate decision making, you choose to put aside the past and forgive. Move on, for the sake of yourself and your children. Very grown up, also the responsible thing to do! Also rare, very hard.
I legit only follow 5 people on Instagram. Sometimes I scroll through the happy stories, they make me cry. I saw this on the newsfeed, this man is friends with his ex-wife while married to the new wife. Not only that, the new wife considers herself a bonus mom to her step-children, she treats them with love. And incredibly, the ex-wife and the new wife have become best friends in spite of both having been married to the same man. That’s an incredible feat of fighting against natural jealousy and territorial inclinations, it’s an incredible example of how you act as an adult in order to be an example to the children. I wanted to share, see, it can be done!
Can you be friends with your ex and your new love.
rhmaldonado.com
Photo: the ex-wife meeting the new wife’s brand new baby #Family
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are really pretty amazing when you split you’ve gone your separate ways sometimes the families mix and all and to be able to get along and be friendly like that would just make it so much better actually I’ve been friends with a couple of my ex-wives husband andstill talk to them. They’re pretty nice guys and I got to know her children by another marriage also probably upset the first year and then after that it didn’t make any difference.