Does she like YOU or what you have
My lane is relationships.
I have zero problem with either of these things in play for romance.
Men want to be sexually attracted to the woman they date, are in a relationship with or marry.
Women want competence in the man they date, are in a relationship with or marry.
If you’re a Beta Male whining that women are gold diggers, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, admit that you want to be sexually attracted to the woman you date, are in a relationship with or marry because that’s the equivalent.
If you’re an annoying female that denigrates men because they notice appearance, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, admit that you want a competent man who’s successful when you date, are in a relationship with or marry because that’s the equivalent.
My lane is relationships.
I am ruthlessly pragmatic.
As long as it’s not illegal, I help my clients get what they want, including in romance.
Many people are delusional and unrealistic. They have their hand stretched out, expecting a lot, when they themselves only give a little. Hate to break it to you, but the following is how it works in Love + Lust.
You get your equivalent.
You want better, than be better yourself.
There isn’t a woman on the planet who wants the broke guy or the male who lacks drive, work ethic and ambition.
There isn’t a man on the planet who wants to provide for or commit to the girl who he would fuck never.
Get real. In romance, the superficial will get your foot in the door. Yet we all know that it’s the intangibles and core character that will get you a seat at the table to stay if you’re smart.
My lane is relationships.
I have women telling me why they won’t give that man a 2nd date . . . hint . . . he did not impress for success.
I have men telling me why they won’t commit to that woman . . . hint . . she did not impress past looks/sex.
I say this openly to my clients. That the females who lead with their hands out for money, they may be experienced with men, perhaps they dated a lot, but they’re not smooth nor truly savvy. They don’t realize that men are very sensitive, their spidey senses go up when they think you like what they have vs who they actually are.
Men with money are especially aware of what they bring to the table. In fact, they splash that cash because it works. But women who beam happily at your BMW or suddenly become acutely interested once they know the ritzy zip code you live in, are fooling no one, especially not the savvy men who’ve been around the block.
I have zero problem with any man making an effort on his date. Knowing what works will get you laid. But for the ladies, you are fooling fewer than you think, when you lead with money. By this, I mean that you want material things before you prove yourself. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy being spoiled or say “thank you” if a man gives you a gift. But there’s an art to it.
Sometimes I’m appalled at how women act. Occasionally, the men are fooled but the more they’ve been around the block the savvier they get. Ladies, you fool fewer than you think with a gimme attitude.
This is my romance tip for women who date men with money. You must decide if you like that man for real, intangibles and core character in addition to what he has. If you don’t do that honest assessment, you’ll get found out, maybe not right away, but you will, if that man has a brain. The issue isn’t that women like successful men just as it’s not a bad thing if a man wants to be sexually attracted, both are in play in the male vs female romantic dynamic. But if you’re a woman, do you also like other things about that man in addition to his monetary success. You must ask yourself the question, would you be interested in that man, if he lost all his money. That’s a valid question, keep in mind the following.
Men lost their jobs when they refused the covid vaccine.
Men lost all their money when their businesses failed in the lockdowns.
Men were punished in business when they went against medical tyranny.
If that man was your new love interest, boyfriend or husband, what did you do? Did you ditch him when he lost his job or his money? This happened in recent memory with the roll out of the covid vaccine with its 1291 side effects listed on Pfizer documents in 2021. Medical coercion ramped up planet wide, men lost their jobs or their money in the ensuing financial chaos. It happened before and it can happen again, that humans will be required to choose, their comfort or their principles. And would you still be interested in the man who lost his job or all his money?
It’s OK for the ladies to like competent men, their success makes them attractive just as beautiful women attract men. Fair enough. But even as you’re drawn by the superficial, there must be intangibles and core character in play for you to be loyal and love deeply.
When I hear anecdotes of first dates or casual dating, both men and women are vying for attention and trying to attract. Fair enough.
But the mistake even experienced women make, they are neither savvy nor smooth, is that they lead with money. In that they make it too obvious, that they like the things that man has vs real interest in the man himself. Big mistake. Men who have been around the block, are savvier than you think. Men may splash cash to get laid, but they will not commit when they know a woman is superficial. Men are very fearful of only being liked for what they have vs for who they really are.
You don’t believe me, I’m just a Therapist and I own my Life Coach, fine.
Perhaps you’re more awed by the stars. Stephen Baldwin, actor, shared about his daughter Hailey Baldwin who’s married to Justin Bieber, that he’d dated other females and had given them gifts. Hailey was the only woman who declined his gifts in the beginning of their romance. She made an impression.
Why be average, like all the other girls, with their hands out like “gimme gimme gimme.” It’s not cute. It won’t impress the best.
There’s nothing wrong with men trying to impress women nor the ladies saying “thank you” if they receive a gift from a man. But there’s an art to it. If you’re showing off the stuff your new Boo has gotten for you vs vetting to find out if he’s a good human being, you are remiss and you are making a mistake. You’ve missed your chance to impress him, by caring about who he is vs what he has. It’s OK to like competent men, there isn’t a woman on the planet who isn’t impressed by success just as there isn’t a man in the world who isn’t also drawn to beauty. Fair enough. But there’s an art to it.
You must like that man for who he is MORE than the stuff he has. That’s how you impress. If he loses his job or all his money for making a stand for his principles, you’ll be proud to be by that man’s side. Impressive.
Impress.
rhmaldonado.com
Photo: Justin Bieber’s net worth at age 27 is $285 million. The woman he married was the one who showed him that she valued who he was vs what he had.