How do you feel about height difference in dating

I have to be careful with this because height is such a sensitive topic. I think it only rivals Dick size which men are also obsessed with.

In person, 1-on-1 Therapy or Life Coach sessions, you can really nuance how you think and what you feel.

In a Substack, it’s more flippant than sincere, more light vs heavy stuff.

I want the men to know, I understand that this is a sensitive topic, the height rejection is real. If I post videos of Therapist Jordan Peterson advocating against pornography and call out Andrew Tate as a beta male in my Substack, I can touch on this topic too. It’s sensitive and it’s real, for you, I’m cognizant of that.

On the radio this morning, I listened to radio DJ’s calls from women who’re in the 5’10 range, these women said they don’t want to date a man shorter than them.

Recently, I had a girlfriend who met a man who was her height, she just couldn’t deal. She didn’t know him, he seemed nice enough, the height was the dealbreaker. He wasn’t even shorter, it was equal height, still a problem for her.

I remember back in my Twitter days before that marxist communist socialist site deleted me, I saw a Tweet from Olympian Lolo Jones who described going on a date with a man who lied about his height. She knew he lied because she was 5’9, when she met him without wearing heels, she was taller than he was, that’s how she knew he had lied about his height.

On dating profiles, these are the top 3 lies in my opinion:

1. Height - for men

2. Weight - for women

3. Age - if in the middle age to senior range

People also lie about actually being single, but for brevity, those 3 things top the dating profile lies list.

I get it. I’m actually obsessed with height. You would be a smidge influenced too, if you were called a midget by your friends. Yes, that was 25 years ago, but I have a memory like an elephant . . . I mean, I don’t know where my glasses are . . . but for sure, memory like a steel trap #EyeRoll

Recently, I was informing one of my guy friends, that I’m above the height of a midget by 1 inch. When you’re dealing with inches, that inch can be a big deal. Just ask the men who’ve measured their Dick Inches matter if you care about the topic. And I care about height, I always have, for myself at least.

Women generally care about height, it’s even more of an issue than finance.

The #1 question a woman will ask her girlfriend when hearing about a new man is “What does he do?” Finance is very important to women, they want to know what that man’s job is. Whereas the men probably ask their friends “What does she look like?”

If a man is in between jobs, laid off or fired, lives at home with his parents or is broke, if the woman gets to know him and he has other attributes that she likes, she may still give him a chance. Finance, as important as it is, will not always be a dealbreaker to women.

If a man is shorter than the woman, almost from the jump off, she will be leaning towards NOT giving him a chance. It can be a dealbreaker.

That’s why men lie on their dating profiles about their height, they know they’re being discriminated against for height.

For myself, I initially doubt anyone who tells me their height, I take off 2 inches from what they tell me. And you cannot lie to me. I actually had a guy friend who tried to tell me he was XYZ height, I took out my tape measure and sure enough, he’d lied. I also know because friends/family members will let it slip. You cannot lie to me, I find out eventually and I’m furious when I am lied to, even in the little things.

I’m also obsessed with women’s height. When I see very short girls, I stare at them and sometimes I even ask them “How tall are you?” They don’t take offense, it’s one small person asking another small person a benign question, it’s not taken as rude the way it would be if a tall person looked down their nose at you to ask that question. When a tiny girl tells me her height and it’s my same height, I’m aghast. I simply cannot fathom that I look that short.

Height’s an issue for me personally. I have no fewer than 3 step stools in my place, I’m in an apartment too, so it’s practically a step stool for every room. It’s not unusual for me to step on the lowest level of a shelf in a grocery store as I can’t reach an item on the top shelf. And good thing I don’t often go to events with crowds, as I usually can’t see over the tops of people’s heads, if it’s a standing crowd.

I’m reminded of my short stature for practical logistics, but others remind me of my height all the time. When Dr. Peter McCullough met me in person, one of the first things out of his mouth was “You are so tiny in person.”

The one issue I never have to worry about is being taller than the men. Children who are 10 years old, can be taller than me, some of the boys are quite tall for their age. I am shorter than most women, the average height of a woman in the US is 5’4. And it’s very rare for any man to be shorter than I am.

Although I’m obsessed with height, you would be too if you had “mdiget” ringing in your ear from your past, I do not have the same height issues in dating that tall women do.

I am a woman though, and I know why women do not like to be taller than a man in romance.

The two most obvious factors are the following:

1. Internal, women like to feel protected and even though it’s a visual, being taller than the man makes you feel like you’re the mom or the lead, which doesn’t feel romantic to women.

2. External, women are very status driven. No woman on the planet wants her photo on Insta to be where she’s towering over the boys. Women will feel embarrassed if out to dinner with friends, and she’s the only one who’s taller than her husband. Any girl will ask her girlfriends about whether or not she should wear heels as she considers her outfit, for a date with a man similar to her height. The visual is that others will see the height difference, this can be embarrassing to a woman.

It’s both the Internal for what the woman feels for herself and the External for what she thinks others will think of her, that factor into why women don’t like to be taller than the man in romance.

I think it’s OK if both men and women want to date someone who doesn’t meet their preferred height requirement. Many couples make it work, height is a superficial factor, not the most important thing. Each person will have their own bias, personality, experiences to determine whether or not, it’s a dealbreaker for them.

My tip for the men, if it’s a cold approach and this includes on the dating apps, if you say you’re 5’5 and the woman is 5’8, that’s going to be a hard sell because she doesn’t know you. She’s judging off the superficial height factor alone, it’s a tough sell. But if you are friends with a woman in real life or you are the colleague at work or get introduced at a neighborhood block party, if she meets you in real life, you stand a chance. Because she can get to know you, and you can highlight other factors that will compensate for being shorter than she is.

Cold call ie she’s never met you or meets you 1 time, that’s a damn tough sell if you are shorter than the woman.

Experiences where she gets to know you, then you stand a chance and it can work out.

I don’t want to hear it, how you have this “friend’s cousin’s ex wife” who’s tall and her male partner is short. Of course, this exists. Yes, many couples are happy with a height difference. I’m speaking to the cold approach and the more common scenario, not the exception. The short guy who’s a millionaire or who has any kind of status in his community, don’t point to him as the panacea for all the short men. Yes, there are exceptions when women KNOW about those other things that compensate for height.

My real life tip for men who want to date taller women, you must put experiences into real life to be given a shot. That cutie who’s your neighbor, you talk shop in the driveway and hang out at the neighborhood block party, she may give you a chance even if you’re shorter than she would like because she’s gotten to know you. You must put it into real life as soon as possible for a real shot.

It’s real life that will trump the superficial.

You can be an amazing guy, and your height does not define you.

Now make sure the world and that crush you have your eye on, know about your amazing qualities in the real world.

I know this meme is a smidge harsh, I reiterate that I’m very sensitive to height as a vertically challenged individual myself.

My message to men is to encourage you, to help you understand how women think. If you’re short, work with what you’ve got and also compensate. If you’re tall, be grateful. That is all.

rhmaldonado.com