Loyalty

In modern romance, loyalty is often sadly lacking.

Everyone is out for themselves, people are like leaches, taking as much as they can, giving back very little or nothing at all.

We can opine on why, but the over arching theme, is degeneracy in the culture, selfishness that permeates.

When you only care for yourself, you only think about what you want, with little care for others, you embolden your selfish side, you become entitled.

Specifically in romance, lack of monogamy and the push towards pornography, promotes degeneracy and selfish living. The more degenerate the society, the less loyalty.

You reap what you sow.

When a degenerate society, pushes open relationships, praises Situationships, bashes marriage, promotes pornography, then why are you surprised that both males and females, are hedonistic, live for self and become entitled.

The loyalty is not there.

Loyalty is not overly prevalent in modern romance.

This is my take as a clinician who’s seen both sides of divorce and affairs, Situaionships and sexless marriages.

1. The more transactional the relationship, the less likely, it is to last.

2. If you find a romantic partner who will be loyal to you, that’s gold, hang onto that.

For brevity, I’m going to tell you a quick way to vet for loyalty in a relationship. It’s not the only way, but like I said, brevity.

Decipher for yourself and answer this question.

MAN:

If you lost your job due to a layoff (younger male) or if you lost your money in the stock market (older male) ie you don’t have money anymore, would that woman stay with you, when it’s only you, that you have to offer her.

WOMAN:

If you age, your youth and beauty fades, is there more to your body and pretty face, that would captivate that man, he also likes your personality. Even when your body changes after kids (younger female) or when you’re in your later years (older female) ie there’s something about you, when it’s only you, that would make that man stay beyond surface appearance.

Now, you may tell me, that’s impossible to know.

And I’m telling you, figure it out as best you can. Vet your romantic partner. Watch what they do, how they act, analyze their background and experiences, test them.

I’ve told my male clients to stop paying their partners door dash, ask to split the mortgage, see if they will pay for dinner (those were for specific scenarios to vet). I’ve advised my clients to find out, if that person likes them or only what they can do for them. You must find out.

When you’re dating, you do need to vet that new romantic person.

Once you commit, you marry that person, the testing phase is done. Now it’s teamwork, a shared life and loyalty in play.

But before you commit to marry that person, you should vet them, see if they deserve teamwork, a shared life with you and your loyalty.

When you splash cash (male) or lead with the physical (female) and never vet your partner, why are you shocked, when the romance goes sideways. You refused to ask questions, you chose not to vet, you ignored red flags.

This is my philosophy, vet romantic partners. Choose wisely. But once you commit, go all in. Be loyal once you’ve made your choice.

If you find a person who’s loyal, they like the real you, your love has a shot.

Loyalty is in the top 3 of what you need for a relationship.

• Love

• Lust

• Loyalty

I’d put loyalty in the top 3, if you have that trifecta, that’s perfection.

You do need to really love that person, most people confuse “like” for love. But love has an element of sacrifice to it, most modern relationships are too selfish for sacrifice, it’s rarely love.

You do need a component of lust, otherwise that’s just your friend, perhaps it’s devolved into a friendship marriage, the sex is not there.

You do need loyalty, that person likes you for who you are, not solely for what you can do for them. You lose your job, no money at all, that woman would stay with you. You age, your youth and beauty fades, that man is still there.

The trifecta, love, lust, loyalty and your marriage has a shot.

Sadly, loyalty is what is most often absent, in modern romance. Pornography, sex without commitment, lack of marriage push selfishness and degeneracy in society.

The loyalty is not there.

When you live for self, you take like a leach, you’re selfish, then expect endless short term romances that rarely have the depth of a truly committed relationship.

My advice, look for loyalty, that person likes YOU. They appreciate who you are, your intangibles and core character. If you lose your money (male) or your looks (female) the love is still there, your relationship could survive a rough patch and inevitable life changes.

When loyalty goes, love and lust are sure to follow.

Loyalty is in the top 3, easily.

You need loyalty in a relationship. Don’t commit to a person for marriage, unless you’ve first vetted for loyalty.

Loyalty, top 3.

Easily.

Photo: Jelly Roll on his wife Bunnie Xo, when he had no money, she liked him for who he was, not what he had (which was nothing at the time), that’s loyalty