My lane is relationships.
My actual job: Therapist + Life Coach
I am licensed for clinical work in the state of Illinois, the technical term for what I do is psychotherapy.
In my Life Coach, I’ve had clients in 19 US states and Canada.
The split is 30% workplace issues with 70% personal problems involving relationships, that’s the work.
Yes, relationships are the lane in which I operate for my work.
So I pay attention to what’s in the zeitgeist, trends and attitudes in modern dating. I need to know for my work, relationships after all.
I’m appalled at the lack of common sense and entitlement in romance.
I blame degeneracy in society, the lack of human decency profligated by pornography addiction, hook-up culture and disdain for the family and the sanctity of marriage.
Destroy the meaning of sex, tell women they are only good as prostitutes on OnlyFans, have a milieu of men addicted to pornography, you will have a societal descent into degeneracy.
For the low level types who bluster that women, better put out for sex on the 1st date and mock marriage, you better pray to God morality comes in vogue again because no one wants to live in Sodom and Gomorrah, it’s not a nice place. Even those who like sex on the first date and who mock monogamy, you too, will suffer in a degenerate society because it’s hell on earth.
So that’s my preface to this particulate dating behavior ie watch the video, men opening doors for women.
There’s technically nothing wrong with women wanting romantic gestures.
But the lack of common sense and entitlement in romance is appalling.
I advocate against going on coffee dates, unless you have sex on the 1st date, then you deserve coffee. That would then be in your wheelhouse, you expect nothing and require the bare minimum, lack of effort isn’t a dealbreaker for you.
But to be the type of person for whom effort is expended, you do have to be worth said effort.
I am personally appalled that people have no common sense, feel entitled, especially in romance.
So take the example of coffee dates, if a woman is asked to “hang out” and get coffee, she can be pleasant. She can go or not go, depending on her personal style and taste. My take is that if she’s the type to have sex on the first date, she deserves coffee. It’s also simply an observation of how the man initially viewed that woman. He wasn’t wowed on first impression to offer anything better. You simply notate it, you’re gathering information, now you know. Don’t be offended, simply use it as intel, then choose what to do.
Take the example of men opening the door for women. Watch the video, the girl is refusing to get in the car, unless the man opens the door.
Listen, I don’t have a problem with romantic gestures, it’s nice if a man is a gentleman and opens the door for you.
I’m appalled at the lack of common sense and entitlement of this girl. She doesn’t understand romance, seduction nor is she sexy.
If the man doesn’t open the door, keep your mouth shut as the woman. You simply observe, don’t worry about it. Initial impressions are to gather intel, that’s it.
These are my suggestions for women:
If you get asked on a coffee date, either go if you’re the type to have sex on the first date, it’s what you deserve. Or don’t go on coffee dates. Now you know that man’s initial impression of you is, based on what he offered, it’s simply intel, that’s it.
If the man doesn’t open the car or restaurant door, open it yourself. You’re just learning his style and observing, it’s just intel, that’s it.
If the man asks you to split the bill, take out your purse, put cash on the table or pull out your credit card, pay your half. Now you know he wasn’t wowed by you, he’s not trying to impress you. So what, now you know. It’s just intel, that’s it.
As a woman, never order anything at a restaurant that you cannot personally afford yourself, in case you’re asked to split the bill.
Simply enjoy the date, learn what you can about the man and be nice.
It’s simple.
It’s just intel.
Don’t get mad, don’t make a scene, don’t overthink it.
Go talk to your Therapist if you want to. If you talk to me, I’d help you process what you learned about the man on the date, that’s it.
For romance and seduction, to be sexy, start by being warm.
You don’t have to go on coffee dates if you don’t want to, you don’t have to be impressed if the man charges through the restaurant door before you, you don’t have to keep seeing a man if he asks you to split the bill. But that’s what dating is, it’s learning about someone else and intel is part of that. Don’t be mad, view it as intel, that’s it.
Men, even the beta males, know they adjust their behavior based on their level of interest in the woman.
If men want to get laid and get out, he’s not going to want to spend money, especially if money is tight for him.
But if a man wants to impress you, he’s put you in the category of “she might be special” then he will do his level best to impress.
That’s just how it goes, I don’t make the rules on biology and psychology,
So for romance and seduction, to be sexy, start with being warm.
You get to decide, if you’ll keep seeing that person, but first you gather intel. They also get to decide about you, they choose too.
I don’t agree with men or women, disappearing on the date or the bill. Just pay your half if asked, it’s just intel, that’s it.
Stop being huffy puffy, pull out your wallet and pay if that man asks you to. Now you know his initial level of interest in you, it’s good intel, now you know.
Civility, manners, common sense, be warm in dating.
And nuance, read the room, understand who you’re dealing with.
Why are you charging into dates with assumptions and entitlement, zero nuance.
Not only are you not warm, you’re also not sexy when you’re entitled and have zero common sense.
In romance and seduction, to be sexy, you must also be warm.
When I saw the video, I was appalled at the female’s behavior. To demand, act entitled, her rudeness on an initial first date, that’s not warm. Men won’t be impressed, most would balk at investing any time, money, interest after that little stunt.
What she should have done, gotten in the car, said thank you to the man for picking her up. Continued to note his behavior, he made a restaurant reservation, he paid for dinner, it was a nice conversation, all intel. Now she can decide, in totality of his actions, her impression of him as a romantic prospect.
That’s what dating is, analysis and assessment, for each party to decide their next move, how much they want to invest via time, money, interest in this new person.
If you are warm, sexy and fun, the man will probably want to impress you, he likes you, he wants to pay for dinner, the investment in you via time, money, interest is worth it to him.
If he’s not that interested in you, he won’t invest time, money or his continued interest in you. But that’s intel, now you know.
Being entitled, lacking common sense and being rude to a man, will not motivate him to invest time, money and his interest in you.
I personally think the standards have fallen so low, that in 2026, if you simply act normal, you’ll probably impress.
And if you’re warm, sexy, fun then you’ll never lack for attention as either a man or a woman.
Tip 1. Remember ladies, never order more than what you can pay for on a date, in case that man asks you to split the bill.
Tip 2. Also ladies, be cognizant of that man’s budget, always let him pick the place, so he can choose what he can afford.
A component of warm is that you’re considerate and kind. It doesn’t matter the size of that man’s bank account, being a woman who is kind and considerate, will go a long way to him. Remember, he’s doing intel on the woman too!
In modern dating, if you just don’t act like a shrew, you’ll be noticed.
If you’re warm, sexy and fun, you’ll be leagues ahead of your competition.
And warm, the components include kindness and consideration, it goes a long way with men.
Kind girls, warm and considerate, they keep men’s interest longer than technically aesthetically beautiful females who are harsh, entitled and rude.
I know you want to argue with me because beautiful females get male attention, which is true.
But I said LONG TERM interest. Anyone can get laid fast, that’s not hard for the beautiful or the ugly. But real time, money and interest are what men will invest in women who they view as warm, sexy and fun. And a component of what makes you warm, is kindness and consideration, it goes a long way with men.
Bare minimum, have some common sense and don’t act entitled, simply notice. You are gathering intel, that’s it.
Being warm is thanking that man for what he does do for you, watch him invest more because you’re warm, sexy and fun.
When was the last time a door was as opened for you. Mine, was this morning, a man opened the door for Starbucks. Where do you think I’m writing this substack. Smiles.
