“People follow winners.”
That’s what one of the smartest men I know, explained to me.
My rejoinder and also my core belief.
That you win when you Believe.
That you win when you Try.
That you win when you Fight.
THAT’S HOW YOU WIN MORE THAN YOU LOSE
Let’s break it down.
Believe.
In 2019, I turned both my personal and professional life upside down. I’m not even the same person now, I’ve changed that much. I launched my Stories podcast and Life Coach in 2020 at the start of the Lockdowns. This is what I said to myself, never having been an entrepreneur in my life, that one day people would ask to be on my podcast and one day I’d have a waiting list of clients. Thaat belief that I have, to only dream big.
Try.
It’s easy to sit on the sidelines, never put yourself out there. That I have failed many times, is immaterial to me. It’s that I learn, that’s what I care about. The difference between failing and winning, is simply trying. It’s that simple.
Fight.
Never in my wildest dreams, would I have imagined that my two best friends would be amongst the most elite fighters in the world, they never bent the knee to tyranny and they’re vicious in their will to fight. If I’m baby brave, its only by the example of my friends who help me, who show me how its done.
Believe. Try. Fight.
THAT’S HOW YOU WIN MORE THAN YOU LOSE
In my work, it’s clearly evident that the clients who progress quickly in treatment, are often the ones who implement the trifecta: Believe, Try, Fight.
It’s not easy because you have residual trauma from your past, you’re in a current crisis and you doubt yourself. I know it’s hard.
The most prevalent psychotherapy modality is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that’s the easiest one for me to utilize, it’s the Gold Standard for PTSD and also very effective. The work that’s done is on thoughts, feelings, actions to effect the change that you want. The most potent are the actions, it’s the catapult for fast results.
I’ve seen clients after 1 therapy session, implementing change. I’ve also had clients that have been in session with me for two years, they’re in a holding pattern. I know it’s hard. But you must act, that’s the tipping point for everything. Action effects change. It’s that simple. It’s how you win.
It’s a misnomer that you must feel good first.
Really.
Your husband just left you. Your wife is having an affair. You’re being accused falsely of a crime. You’re at risk of losing custody of your children. You have no job. You have no money. You’re being bullied at work. You’ve lost everything.
Really.
You think you need to feel good first? What planet are you living on. How’s that supposed to happen when you’re in the midst of a crisis or you’ve been in depression for years, your anxiety is sky high.
No, Guys and Dolls, you must act first. The thoughts and feelings are intertwined, but often the positive feelings come last. You must push yourself, you must move your a$$ and you must act first. Then the feelings of accomplishment, pride, success will follow. That’s often the sequence, it’s a misnomer that you must feel good first to act. It’s the opposite, act first and the positive feelings will follow.
That’s my work. I’m a Therapist licensed in the state of Illinois, employed at a private practice in the Chicago area. I also own my Life Coach, that’s my business, I’ve had life coach clients in 17 states and Canada. That’s my work.
And in my personal life, I do not tell you to do anything, that I’m not doing myself.
Believe. Try. Fight.
THAT’S HOW YOU WIN MORE THAN YOU LOSE
In this life, people follow winners.
So don’t be a loser.
Stop playing the victim. Your life is hard. I get it. But the difference between the loser who spirals lower and the winner who moves up in the world, is that winners Try their best, they Believe they can, they Fight back.
Listen, I’m a Therapist and I own my Life Coach, I’m with you when you’re in crisis and I know life is hard. But I also know that winning in this life is more about your attitude, not the stuff you have.
You can’t get a date? You haven’t been laid in a long time? Your wife doesn’t respect you? Your husband doesn’t appreciate you? You’ve stepped out on your marriage. You’ve quit your job. You’ve alienated your friends. You hate yourself and your life.
No, it’s not your stuff that’s the problem, stop blaming others for all that ails you.
Your problem is your attitude.
You lose when you don’t try.
You win when you do.
It’s that simple.
People follow winners. And you can either be in the winner’s circle and like yourself, or you can hate everyone and blame others. That’s no way to live, that’s not living.
Believe in yourself. But back it up with your actions, real competence when you Try. And Fight like your freedom depends on it because it does.
Believe. Try. Fight.
THAT’S HOW YOU WIN MORE THAN YOU LOSE
rhmaldonado.com
Photo: People rally around President Donald J. Trump. People follow winners.
Those are winning attitudes.