You can't afford to date

My sister, my girlfriend and even a guy friend sends me Instagram reels.

Dear sister sent me a reel from this guy’s Insta, that’s how he got on my radar.

Pluses

• This man wears a suit in most of his reels, I do love a man who knows how to dress sharp.

• His catchy quotes are cute.

Cons

• He bashes therapy, clearly isn’t that smart, if he doesn’t realize that the SMART people go to therapy.

• Does this man have a job, or is looking hot on Insta, his only gig, hmmm . . . .

• He says he can’t talk to women who drink Starbucks. That’s my addiction, no big deal, not like we’re friends in real life.

While I get screamed at by the Beta Males when I say Coffee Dates are cheap, this guy gets 8k likes when he says pay for dinner. Probably all the ladies liking that post.

Regardless, it’s nice to have back up. Even if it’s from a guy that I don’t know off the internet.

Listen, in my line of work, individuals are coming to me after a break-up, when they get caught in an affair or during their ongoing divorce case. A lot of the work is fallout, when the relationship is not working out. Crisis management when you end up on the couch at minimum or the locks get changed on your house at maximum. But I also dabble in attraction, dating, romance because clients come out the other side of a break-up or divorce, single and ready to mingle. Relationships, committed or casual, are all on the table in my line of work.

For me, although I’m the Dreamer sort with stars in my eyes, for my work, I’m ruthlessly pragmatic. I go for what works because that’s often how you get what you want. I’m results driven, and I do not work harder than my clients. If they want to wallow in victimhood and play the blame game, that’s on them. But if they are ready to work, we get down and dirty, we go for results. For that, you must be pragmatic, know what works.

• You want a date?

• You tired of being single?

• You want romance?

Then let’s go with what works. While the Beta Males screech at me because I dare to tell women to have a modicum of standards, I also know what works. I delve in secrets and stories are my jam. I know a lot. I’m told a lot. I go with what works.

For the first date, you need to impress.

Coffee is cheap.

The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger put the slogan, coffee is cheap, on the map. She’s not wrong.

Now this guy off Insta is de facto saying the same, pony up and pay up for dinner.

For my actual job, I sit across from females ages 13 to 67, those are the age ranges I’ve had. For males, I’ve had clients 15 to 71 years of age. Women from different ethnicities, ages and socioeconomic backgrounds tell me what they really think about the men they date, their boyfriends and husbands. I know what women like. I am a woman too.

For the first date, you need to impress.

Just because most women line up for coffee and say “yes” to drink dates, doesn’t mean they like it. They’ve been brainwashed to accept it in a Casual Sex culture.

No woman wants to feel cheap.

Coffee is cheap.

These things are in play.

1. Men feel zero need to expend effort when they can get laid off coffee and drink dates. These days, you don’t even need to take a woman anywhere, you can still get laid. It’s that easy.

2. Then there’s the economy. Thanks to the dementia patient in the White House, Americans are behind on their mortgage, can’t make their rent, even have trouble paying the light bill some months. Times are hard, men without money, still want sex, dates, the whole 9 yards.

3. Women require little.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

While 90% of women will line up for cheap coffee dates and squeal happily at a drink offer, there will always be those with higher standards.

Even if you, as a man, can get away with coming out of pocket zero and still get attention and sex from women, doesn’t mean that’s good for you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, if you act average, you will always remain bottom barrel and low tier. That won’t make you feel good about yourself.

Just because you can get sex off coffee and drink dates, doesn’t mean you should.

• We do not value that which we did not earn.

• We do not feel good about ourselves if we put in minimal effort.

The men are mad at me. They want that free gravy train to continue. Why pay for dinner when you can get sex off coffee. It’s easy, everyone’s doing it.

And yet, that same man, if his precious daughter that he loves, told him that the men only offer coffee and expect sex after, that Dad would be enraged. Any father would want his daughter to be treated like she’s special, he knows that men will come out of pocket when they feel the woman is worth it. If being treated cheap, isn’t good enough for your daughter, why is it good enough for any woman, she’s someone’s daughter.

Men, if they’re honest, know that they go cheap because they can. But that they value women who require more, that they feel more invested, if they have to make an effort.

But whatever, keep lying to yourself, that you’re the big man on campus because you can get freebie sex.

My tip, for the first date, you need to impress.

Once you and another person keep dating, whether casually or in an actual relationship, the two of you can decide what works for you both. Everything is on the table from splitting bills to designating who pays for what or even taking turns if one person goes to school or gets laid off from their job. Once you’re seeing someone on the regular or in a committed way, the two of you, get to decide what works for your relationship. I’m simply saying that the first date, you need to impress.

I’m pragmatic. I’m telling you what works. It will always impress a woman to have a man provide for her. The first date is when you impress, you want to get your foot in the door, be given a chance.

After that, split the bills or take turns paying, whatever works for you both, once you’re casually dating or in a committed relationship.

But the first date, you need to impress.

I’m fully aware that males who aren’t even all that, can get sex off coffee and drink dates or even doing nothing at all. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. It’s not even about the other person, it’s about you, being low tier too.

You can’t think you’re too hot to trot because you refuse to come out of pocket. If cheap is your style, own it but don’t front like you’re impressive because you’re not.

You are smooth when that’s how you always operate, when that’s who you are. Men who are superior and smooth, own it. And they wipe the floor with their competition.

You don’t even have to step it up that much, to be better than the rest of the Beta Males Women are used to such low tier treatment, that even if you’re moderately above average, ladies will be impressed.

My tip for first dates, step up your game. No coffee or drink dates.

I only went on 1 coffee date in my entire life in 2019, never again. I won’t even go on drink dates. If there’s not food, I’m not going. With my platonic male friends, I suggest coffee and drinks, that’s for friendship not romance.

My tip if you have no money, budget for the first date and pick places you can afford. Then be honest with the woman, explain your circumstances, most will be understanding and will give you a chance if they like you. But for the first date, you still need to take her out. Impress if you can.

I know the economy is in the toilet, thanks Brandon. I know that a lot of average Joes don’t have a lot of money, yet they still want to date and get laid. It’s up to you. You can do what everyone else does, but you’re average and admit it. Or you can step it up because you operate on a different level because of who you, not for what you can get away with.

So right. Perhaps you don’t care that I say coffee is cheap. But here’s a man saying pay the dinner bill. Do what you want. Free country.

rhmaldonado.com

Photo: Smidge harsh but a grain of truth to it