In the video, I say that perhaps the ratio that I see, 30% professional to 70% personal, for my work with clients. Although the professional is not always the presenting problem as to why someone requests Life Coach or Therapy, it’s the very rare case, where we don’t delve into both the personal and professional. It comes up, that’s life.
I’ve seen a lot of things.
Think the Astrononer CEO and HR exec caught on the Coldplay concert kiss cam, they were both married and having an affair, with that viral clip racking up 100 million views.
Neither the Astronomer CEO or HR exec are my clients. But certainly, I’ve seen variations of that scenario, you get fired for romance at work.
I’ve helped my clients with everything from promotions, raises, office politics, bad boss, deciding whether or not to quit, managing egos, and imposter syndrome at work. But since this is a relationship newsletter, I’ll very narrowly focus on romance at work in this article.
There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone at work. Happens every single day. But these are my tips.
Hierarchy
Colleagues dating each other, if it’s not against company policy, do what you want. If one of you reports to the other or that person is a superior in the company from manager to CEO, be very careful and I tell my clients not to bother. Find someone else, plenty of fish in the sea, don’t fish off the company pier if hierarchy is in play. You can get fired, I’ve seen it, don’t risk it.
Risk vs Reward
If you date someone at work, weigh the pros and cons. If you break-up, will it now be awkward at work. Will you get distracted, it may affect your job performance. Will others gossip about you at work. If the risks are too high, avoid that romantic option at work. Look at it like this, if it doesn’t work out, are you willing to leave that job. Either you get fired or you quit because it’s now untenable at work with your ex there. If you don’t want to leave your job when that romance ends, then I’d find someone else to date vs that person at work. The worst thing that can happen, you get fired, I’ve seen it. Risk.
Listen Guys and Dolls, there’s more than one fish in the sea. Think long and hard about fishing off the company pier. It may not be worth it. High risk.
What’s the worst that can happen, you can get fired, I’ve seen it.
The best workplace scenarios are when it’s the same company and you work in a separate department from your sweetie. That can work.
The worst is when you date the boss or someone to whom you directly report to. Hierarchy matters.
If you aren’t willing to leave your job or lose your job (fired), then no, I wouldn’t risk it.
Best case scenario, you meet at that workplace, one of you leaves the company and then you date when you’re both in separate workplaces. Ideal.
I haven’t even gotten into blackmail, sabotage and predatory behavior. Yeah, watch your back if you’re the boss. Hierarchy matters.
If you’re married or in a committed relationship, you can help each other with your respective work when you own your own business. The level of trust and commitment can be commiserate with how much you allow your partner into your business dealings. It can work.
There are endless variations and you must nuance each scenario. That’s what I do, I help my clients with the personal and professional, there’s often overlap.
In the video, I highlight a positive outcome at work. But the worst that can happen, you get fired, I’ve seen that too.
Be smart at work.
Personal vs Professional.
