It bothers me, how selfish people are, this extends to dating.
Proliferated on the internet, are the tutorials to women on “getting the bag” ie getting as much as you can out of the man. As well as the beta male crowd touting “not doing sh!t” for women, as if touting selfishness is a virtue. Both men and women act stupid, selfish and superficial when dating. It’s sad.
Our society has descended into such degeneracy, that basic decency is now rare, that extends to dating.
This is my advice to the ladies when dating.
If you are a woman, keep this in mind, if you go on a date.
Always bring your money.
Never order anything you cannot afford to pay for yourself.
If the man asks you to split the check, pay your half.
I say this, even as I advocate against coffee dates, and I do think the man should pay on the first date.
But there’s what we want, and there’s what others will do.
If a man asks a woman to split the bill, she shouldn’t run to tik tok to rail that men ain’t sh!t. It’s simply intel, now you know the interest was not there, pay up and move on. No need for histrionics.
I have personally advised my male clients in certain scenarios, to stop splashing cash. Sometimes it’s because they’re in a toxic relationship, other times it’s because they need to vet their new romantic partner. Each scenario is different, but if you as the man, only dangle cash, why are you mad when you get the grubby hands out types, you’re partially to blame for refusing to vet the women you date.
For a first date, put your best foot forward to impress. For subsequent dates, reign it in for a subsequent vetting period, as you get to know someone new. It’s two different agendas, get your foot in the door vs finding out if you get a seat at the table to stay. First scenario, you impress vs the second you vet a new romantic partner, requires different strategies.
When it comes to initial contact, on first dates, sometimes it’s you and other times it’s the other person, who decides it’s not a fit, the romantic interest is not there.
If the man can tell the woman’s not into him, he’s off the hook to impress. Sure, split the check. The man won’t get a second date, but he already knew that.
Whereas, if you as the man, are very interested and you’re wanting to see the woman again, no way on God’s green earth, do you let her pay on the first date. To pay is to impress.
Bottom line, a man is not a woman’s piggy bank. Even for men who have it to give, they can get burned out real quick. Wealthy men are even more suspicious, they are on high alert, they want to know if a woman like him or his money.
Let’s face it, most of the populace is average with their average jobs. And you think a teacher or police officer, can run up a tab into the hundreds of dollars, he cannot. So for f$cks sake, be considerate when you date.
Having a gracious and considerate mentality will help you in business, with friendships and dating. No one wants to feel used, if you’re considerate, it’s so rare, that you will stand out.
When Illinois was one of the first states to lock down during the PlanDemic, I had friends who were losing their businesses. I am always careful, but during that time, I was even more cognizant of my friends financial duress. If I had a lunch or a drink with one of my friends, I would order a soda, while they had drinks/appetizers. I would order a soup, while they had an entree. Part of that, is also that I never order what I personally cannot pay for. I was on a budget too, just launched my Life Coach in 2020 at the height of when even iconic businesses in Chicago were shutting down due to the lockdowns. In my life, I have never ordered a dessert before the man asked if I wanted one. You don’t just go hog wild as if it’s your last meal on earth like Miss Piggy. It’s called restraint, it’s being a considerate human being.
Remember ladies, never order more than what you can personally pay for yourself. If you’re asked to split the bill, pay it and now you know, that man is only minimally interested, not interested at all or views you as a quickie hit. Now you know, pay graciously, view it as a good thing, that now you know where you stand.
Even if you’re out on a date with Mr. Money Bags himself, for f$cks sake, be considerate. Experienced men who are very smooth and have money, they are very aware of what their wealth can pull. They are also the most jaded of all the men. So scoring a date with Mr. Wealth himself, doesn’t mean you get to be Miss Piggy. You as a woman, must differentiate yourself from the horde of other girls because men with money have options. And men with money are suspicious, you have to make a very overt effort to offer and to share. There’s an art to this, you as a woman, must be the opposite of selfish, you must be considerate.
In a world where everyone is out for themselves and out to get as much as they can, being considerate is rare.
Be that person, be considerate of others, be a good human being.
I love this video, watch it and learn. It encapsulates everything I’m trying to share with you.
This outstanding young man Randall, has made it his mission to educate boys, help them grow up to be good men. If you’re looking for a charity to donate to, this is one that makes a real difference in the lives of young people.
In this clip, Randall gives an example, that just because his friend offered to pay for his lunch, that doesn’t give him license to be greedy and order a lot of food, you must be considerate. Such a beautiful lesson for life.
Additional tips, for the ladies, when dating.
Always have the man pick the restaurant, so that he can pick what’s in his price range.
Be flexible, be open to breakfast, lunch or dinner because obviously breakfast is cheaper than dinner.
If a man picks something expensive on an outing, don’t automatically pick high end for subsequent outings. Pick something less expensive to showcase that you understand going somewhere nice is a special occasion, that you can also hang with everyday life type stuff too.
If you’re thinking I’m only referring to the average men with average money, I am not. I am saying equal opportunity, the man with only a little bit of money doesn’t like to be used just like the man with a lot of money, also doesn’t like to be used. Men are very sensitive to this, if you’re a savvy dater, you won’t act like other girls, picking expensive places and acting like that man owes you. If you act like Miss Piggy, you’ve played your hand to showcase that you’re superficial and especially into status, not overly endearing traits to men.
All women like status. And women like to be showcased at nice places. But there’s an art to impressing, it’s not just the man paying on the first date that’s in play. Women have a role too, it’s in their best interest to be gracious, playful, considerate, warm and thoughtful. Both men and women, are making their assessments, on a first date. You’re trying to get your foot in the door but also get a seat at the table to stay. Short sighted greed, is not the answer. The long game, vetting for intangibles and core character, are what will set you up for happiness.
My advice when dating, is to be considerate, it goes a long way.
I just love this video, if you adopt this mentality of being considerate, you will be leagues ahead of your competition, you’ll also be a wonderful human being.
Please donate to the charity of Randall in the video, he’s doing God’s work because the youth are the future, he’s training boys to become good men, Amen
